2022-02-09
Dave Rupert wrote about complaining about web browsers.
It's in interesting and quite friendly post all in all. There's a specific passage that resounds with me more than any other, though:
Saying “Thank you” helps - You catch more [flies] with honey than you do with vinegar. If a browser or someone you know shipped a cool feature, say thank you. Give that person or team some recognition. Heck, they may even get promoted and have more internal leverage. Do that over and over and guess what, I bet if you have an actual complaint people will listen.
Building community is about building friendships and relationships. Do you know what the two traits that all successful marriages share are? Kindness and generosity. This goes for all relationships.
The best manager I ever had was really good at this, and they hammered in another point to close the circle: people are rational. Everyone is. You may think that someone made a dumb decision, but you know what? From the perspective of that person, the trials and tribulations they've endured, the constraints they live within, that decision was the best they could make. There's nothing saying you would do any differently in their place.
Respect the past, respect the people, cheer people on! You don't even have to share their objectives. Enthusiasm and a willingness to engage and make a change is laudable either way. If you think they're wrong, then try to show a better way. Be humble and inquisitive about their motives and thoughts.
And a side note: I love that saying "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." It's very true for people, but actually completely wrong when it comes to flies 😄 Flies, especially fruit flies, are attracted to a specific smell of decay that is present in vinegar but not in honey. People, on the contrary, like being spoiled with sweetness. And spoil each other with sweetness we should!
-- CC0 Björn Wärmedal